The Walls Have Ears
by Kate McCaye
Summary: Daniel and Cassie argue over the romantic lives of our favorite non-couple. Jack and Sam overhear them.


The Walls Have Ears

Major Sam Carter and Colonel O'Neill both reported to the infirmary for their pre-mission exams for the following day's assignment.

"About time," Dr. Fraiser said as she saw the both of them enter her infirmary. Sam, she would bet, was late because she had lost track of time while working, but the man who was trying unsuccessfully to hide behind her was late because he hated needles. No doubt Sam had grabbed him on her way in. Janet reminded herself to thank her friend later.

"Okay, guys, scrubs and beds. Sam, take number three, Colonel, number four," she instructed quickly as she tossed them both scrubs to change into. She pulled the curtain between the beds and started readying her supplies for the tests.

"DOC!" Colonel O'Neill whined impatiently, ripping back the curtain between them, tired of being kept waiting while Dr. Fraiser examined his 2IC.

"Colonel!" Janet objected sharply, whipping around to glare at him before pulling the curtain back again to give her friend some privacy.

"It's all right, Janet," Sam said with a long-suffering sigh.

"It's protocol, Sam," she reminded her, but she left the curtain where it was. The more private parts of the exam were already over anyway.

"Well isn't it also protocol to do things at the convenience of the highest ranking officer?" Jack grumbled.

"With all-due respect, sir, I thought I might be taking more valuable time away from Major Carter's work than yours," Janet said with barely the hint of a smile.

Sam tried unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh at their exchange. Jack glared at her accusingly.

"I ordered you not to giggle, Major."

"Sir, that wasn't a giggle. That was a normal laugh," she argued, holding out her arm as Janet wrapped the blood pressure device around it.

"Why would you order her not to giggle?" Janet asked, hoping if she kept the conversation going Jack might not be as whiny.

"You don't want to know," Sam said quietly.

"What was that, Carter?" Jack called, sitting up on his bed and dangling his legs over the edge, facing them.

"Nothing, sir," she said quickly. "Besides, sir, that was four years ago. Wasn't there a statute of limitations or something..."

"Nope. It's a standing order," he said with a smug look. She sighed and tried very hard not to roll her eyes.

"Hey! That's insubordination, Major!" Jack said gruffly.

"Sir, I didn't do anything..."

"You were rolling your eyes."

"No, sir, I wasn't."

"In your head you were though," he insisted.

Both women stared at him like he was out of his tree.

"You'll have a hard time proving that, Colonel, I'm afraid," Janet finally said.

She watched them both trying to stare each other down and finally decided to put a stop to it.

"Okay, I was saving this surprise till the end of your exams, but I guess I'll tell you now."

"What?" Sam asked suspiciously as Janet examined her eyes.

"Cassie's here for the day."

"Why didn't you tell me?!"

"Well, you just got here."

"Yeah, but..."

"It was a last minute decision. It's a teacher work-day at her school."

"Cassie's fifteen years old, she can't be left home alone for one..." Jack started to argue.

"Not after what happened Saturday night," Janet said grimly. "She's grounded. So, the only way I could enforce the grounding was to bring her with me."

"Well, unless she's learned how to turn invisible..." Jack started.

"Very funny, Colonel. Daniel took her off my hands for me. She was driving me crazy intentionally. Lucky for me, she finds Daniel extremely cute, so she's probably in a pretty good mood by now."

"Daniel?" Jack sputtered.

"Cute?" Sam repeated incredulously.

She smiled at them both. "It's a popular opinion among my nurses, as well..."

"Well, okay, maybe, but Cassie's just a kid..."

"Oh, I wouldn't say that to her face, Colonel, unless you want to lose your place in her heart," Janet advised seriously.

"Oh. Okay. So what did she get in trouble for?"

Janet and Sam exchanged exasperated looks. Men.

"You ah, probably don't want to know, sir," Sam said. She didn't know exactly what it was this time, but she had a pretty good idea, based on her own teenage experiences and a few conversations she'd had with a very frustrated doctor.

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"Um, Colonel, I'm sorry, I'm not sure Cassie would be comfortable with me telling you what happened. Suffice it to say, she broke a few house rules."

"Ah... okay. Can we get on with my physical now?" He clearly had no idea what the two women were talking about.

"Yes, of course."

Sam waited around in the infirmary until Janet finished the Colonel's physical. Totally out of concern for Janet. Wouldn't want her to have to deal with Cranky Colonel on her own. That was the only reason. Really.

"So, let's go see Cassie!" Jack finally said, hopping off of the bed happily when he was declared ready to go off-world.

Jack and Sam headed to Daniel's office. They stopped outside. It sounded like Daniel and Cassie were arguing, which was unusual...

"You are so BLIND!" Cassie was saying heatedly.

"You just WANT them to be in love with each other, so you misinterpret and twist completely platonic things around to fit your little theory!" Daniel countered, just as hotly.

Jack and Sam looked at each other in surprise. "Wonder who they're talking about?" Jack whispered innocently.

Sam blushed and looked back at the door. Not that it helped her hear any better, but it was better than looking at him at the moment. Cassie had never been one to keep her feelings regarding other people's feelings secret. For that matter, neither had Daniel, although he was professional about it for the most part.

"Hey, I can't hear," Jack objected, stepping closer to her and copying her position, pressing his ear to the door.

"All I'm saying is you have to have noticed the way they act when one of them is hurt. It's completely obvious to anybody with eyes that..."

"I would feel that way if anybody I was friends with was injured... Jack, Sam, Teal'c..."

"Yeah but you wouldn't be looking at them like all you wanted to do was kiss them right then and there..."

"They do NOT look at each other like that."

Yeah, Jack thought indignantly. We do NOT look at each other like that.

"Oh come on. The sexual tension between them is so thick I'm surprised it's not visible!"

"I think you're too young to be talking about this," Daniel said, the tone in his voice revealing that he was deliberately trying to antagonize her.

"So do I," Jack whispered.

Sam shivered at the whoosh of air on the back of her neck and kept listening, hoping he hadn't noticed.

"What about the kiss? That was pretty hot."

"What are you talking about? He's the only one who remembers it! As far as she's concerned it never happened!" Daniel countered.

"Oh God," Jack said quietly.

He hadn't told ANYBODY about the loop kiss... Teal'c must have told Daniel, who must have told Cassie... hopefully nobody had told Sam... oh crap. She had heard everything he had. He stared hard at the back of her head, trying to see into her brain and read her reaction. It didn't work.

Something didn't fit though... he was certain Teal'c would never describe a kiss as "pretty hot." Oh well, going through that many people, anything was bound to get twisted a little. And it had been pretty hot, he thought with a small smile, turning his attention back to the discussion in the other room.

"What about all the times he's been shot, huh? Kind of hard to deny what the look on her face means, Dan."

"They have an extremely close working relationship, Cass... that's it. They're friends. Close friends. They trust each other with their lives. You have to in that kind of work. That kind of danger... you're just seeing what you want to see. Besides, why would you even want them to feel that way about each other?"

"They look great together, are you kidding me?"

"I just mean that even if you're right, and I'm not saying you are, then it would be extremely hard for them to work so closely together with those feelings."

Yeah, no kidding, Jack and Sam both thought.

"Why would you wish that added stress on them?" Daniel persisted.

"It doesn't have to be stress though, they could be so hap..."

"The government has rules against those kinds of relationships, Cass..."

"Why? That's ridiculous!"

"I think so too, but rules are rules..."

"It's not like he places any real value on the other rules, he's always breaking them. Always! And she breaks them now sometimes too. He's really helped her loosen up..."

Jack smiled triumphantly at the back of Sam's head. Really? Interesting.

"What do you think would happen if they ever did kiss?" Daniel suddenly asked.

Just as they were listening for Cassie's answer, a sharp voice barked from down the hall: "Colonel! Major! What the hell are you doing?!"

Sam and Jack turned suddenly towards General Hammond, who was looking at them in that way that meant he was concerned about their sanity. Again. Jack thought it probably did look pretty strange for the General to see his 2IC and the resident genius with their bodies pressed up against the side of a door in the middle of the day.

"Um, well, sir, we were just..."

Obviously Cassie and Daniel had heard the General's voice as well, because they both opened the door quickly, looking surprised to find the hallway so crowded.

"Jack? Sam? What are you guys doing out here..." Cassie asked with a grin.

"Just came to say hi," Jack said innocently.

"Cassandra, I didn't know you were here," General Hammond said with a smile. "It's good to see you."

"Thank you, sir. It's great to see you too. All of you... but what were you guys..."

"We heard you arguing and didn't want to interrupt," Sam started.

"Arguing?" General Hammond asked, looking at the young girl and the archaeologist in surprise.

Cassie suddenly gave Sam a look that told her she had just figured everything out. Scared at the now mischievous look in Cassie's eyes, her eyes widened in surprise as Cassie turned back to the General.

"Yes, sir, it was over something very important to both of us..."

No. No no no no. Cassie was NOT going to ask the General...

"Sir, maybe you know the answer to this," she said innocently. "Why are there rules in the government between coworkers um... what's the word you used, Dan? Fraternizing?"

Hammond looked extremely taken aback, not only by the topic but by the fact that it had come from someone he still considered to be a little girl. Daniel was wincing, Sam was blushing, and Jack was looking like he was trying to disappear.

"Well... it complicates relationships and that can lead to unsafe situations in the field. Why?"

No, no, no. Don't say why. Don't say why.

"Oh. Well, Daniel and I were just disagreeing over our favorite television show."

Huh?

"Huh?" Jack asked.

Cassie continued. "Yeah. 'The X-Files.' He doesn't want Mulder and Scully to get together, but I do." She turned to Jack and Sam with a knowing grin. "Why? What did you guys think we were talking about?" she asked slyly.

"Nothing," they both said quickly, determinedly not looking at each other or the General.

"Well, I'm a big fan of that show as well," General Hammond said, seemingly unaware of all the silent conversations happening between the people in front of him. "And I for one would be disappointed if they don't get together by the end of the show."

"Really? You're a shipper too?"

"A shipper?"

"Yeah. Someone who wants them to get together..."

"Oh. I guess I am, then."

"Ha! See! Everyone knows it, Danny, you should just come over to the dark side now..."

"Well, as fascinating as this has been, I've got to go recommend that a few of my people have another round of psych evaluations," Hammond said with a twinkle in his eye and a special look at Jack and Sam.

Sam blanched and Jack called to his retreating form, "Yes, sir, I was thinking the same thing... Siler and Davies really need to be checked out!"

"Somehow I don't think he meant them," Daniel said as Sam laughed at Jack's little joke.

"So, guys... who did you THINK we were talking about?" Daniel asked.

"Nobody," they both said.

"I'm going to go... eat some cake," Jack said quickly.

"I'm going to go... run a simulation," Sam said at the same time.

Daniel and Cassie both nodded knowingly as the two hurried off in separate directions.

"Well, that was fun," Cassie said when they were gone.

Daniel laughed and nodded. "Yeah, like I'd ever argue with you over THOSE two."

----------------------------

For any Philes reading this, obviously it has to take place sometime between "Triange" and "Millennium."


End file.
